Brandon Is A Democrat

Actually he probably isn't. I don't care. Really I hope he isn't. That way the brand "Brandon Is A Democrat" makes more sense.

Yes, I am writing this and nobody has read it yet, and still I just heard you say "huh?".

Let me explain by relaying a conversation I recently had with an acquaintance of mine who is keen on the expression "Let's Go Brandon" you may have all heard about recently.

He has it as a bumper sticker on his truck, I pulled in behind him and noticed it at which point I said to him,

"You know, Brandon is a Democrat.".

To which he replied, "he most certainly is not!".

I asked, "How can you be so certain?".

He responded, "I just know.".

I replied, "Well I am telling you for certain he is a Democrat. I think he may be running for office now too.".

My acquaintance paused, looked me up and down and said, "No way, you can't be serious!".

I responded, "As serious as the stolen election you keep telling me about.".

He spent the next few minutes attempting to ascertain the political affiliation of "Brandon".

Prepared for this eventuality I had done some research as well.

He exclaimed, "It says right here he is a Republican!".

I showed him further along in the same article he had found where it said Brandon preferred to stay neutral and has refused to say for whom he voted in the last presidential election. I then showed him some articles and public statements (mostly taken out of context) that could be interpreted differently.

I continued on with this farce for a few more minutes before finally admitting I had made it all up.

He asked me, "Why would you make all of that up?".

I replied, "so you could experience what it's like to debate an issue with someone who has based their opinions on lies and made up facts.".

He became offended at my answer.

But I did not relent.

I asked, "Are you mad because I deceived you in general or because I stole your cherished Republican playbook?".

Of course he could not let that pass. He replied, "We don't lie.".

I said, as I counted on upturned fingers,

1. Stolen election.

2. The new election laws are not discriminatory or intended to keep black people from voting.

3. A Supreme Court Justice should never be nominated or confirmed in the final year of a US Presidency.

4. It was a perfect call with nothing inappropriate and the Senate not allowing witnesses was completely unbiased.

As I went to hold up a fifth finger to continue my list, he exclaimed, "Enough already! All of that stuff is different!".

I had to ask, "Are you claiming those things are not lies?".

To which he replied, "That's exactly what I'm saying!".

So you see, this mentality, illustrated above, is why I am writing this. The Republicans are winning the messaging war because they are keeping their messages simple and they are not timid about throwing in the occasional bald faced lie in order to paint the Democrats in a bad light.

On the other hand the Democrats are trying to be mostly honest, but about nuanced and complex subjects that defy summation in a 3 to 5 word phrase or slogan. You try to explain why Biden cannot possibly be responsible for inflation accross the entire planet and about thirty seconds into your description of the supply and demand curves you've lost about 99.99% of the folks who might have been listening.

What the Democrats need is their own 3 to 5 word phrase that grabs attention, hits a sore spot, and illustrates the biggest weakness of the Republicans, ie, their lack of relationship with the truth.

Telling a big ole whopper of a lie in order to give them a dose of their own medicine seems like a great way to point it out and poke fun at the same time. It'd be like our inside joke, just like their "Let's Go Brandon" is theirs. Plus it has the added bonus of neutering their inside joke.

So I ask you all, let's get our own bumper stickers, banners, t shirts, all with the simple slogan, Brandon Is A Democrat.

Want a bumper sticker? Click the contact link above and message me.